JAIL MAIL
I have always enjoyed receiving mail but I can see how some people might not.
Judge Gist
Criminal District Court , Jefferson County
Everybody, and I mean everybody, who works in the criminal justice system receives volumes of mail every week. Some of us probably get more than many celebrities and movie stars.
Sometimes, you get those wonderful letters in which somebody thanks you for doing an especially good job and bringing justice to a case. I generally get about one of those a year!!! But I'm sure others get a lot more.
But most of my mail comes from the jail or prison. So many of the people I deal with on a "professional" basis end up confined somewhere and soon figure out that they are not "happy campers."
What better way to express that than to contact the sentencing judge. Jail mail usually comes in two distinct types. There are those letters that are threatening, and others where somebody wants a favor.
Let's look at the first category. I will never forget getting a letter from an inmate in our jail who was charged with capital murder. He expressed in vivid detail how much he wanted to kill me and how he had figured out the way to do it.
It was his plan, he said, to chop off my head at the top of a hill and watch it roll down to the bottom. Now that was a creative idea, since there isn't a hill within miles of Beaumont. But more importantly, to make sure I clearly understood his plan, he had drawn a picture of his intentions.
His drawing showed him standing upright and holding this enormous ax that had just severed my fat bearded little head which was rolling neatly down the hill. The really unusual thing was that he drew the entire picture in his own blood.
Needless to say when he came to trial, the prosecutor introduced the letter and drawing into evidence. One of the things the state has to prove in a capital murder hearing is that the defendant in all probability will continue to commit criminal acts of violence in the future and be a continuing threat to society. His own letter ended up being used against him. He was given the death penalty and executed last year.
Lawyers tell inmates all of the time not to write anybody, but few heed the advice and get hurt more by their own letters than by any evidence the State can produce.
The other type of letter involves a request for some type of favorable treatment. Again, lawyers tell their clients not to do this but it seldom hampers their continued activities. I guess the type of letter that offends me the most is one that starts something like: "Good morning, your honor. I certainly hope you are feeling fine." Or "Merry Christmas, and I hope God blesses you and yours."
Come on, guys. Do you really think anybody believes that? At least the threatening letters are genuine expressions. But those "brown nose" messages are hardly ever effective.
The "Request For Time Cut" letters come in batches every week. Apparently there is somebody in prison that tells inmates that they can write the sentencing judge and get a reduction of sentence. Probably they have to pay something to these jail house lawyers to get this worthless and absolutely incorrect advice. But over and over again, here they come. The remedy they seek is legally impossible to grant. But the flow of mail continues.
Then there are the mixed message letters. Inmates start off with such pleasant greetings. Then they ask that certain things be sent to them so that they can sue me. Every criminal judge gets those all of the time. Now think about this for a moment. Would anybody with any sense want to help somebody sue them? But the flow of mail continues.
Of course there are always plenty of complaint letters that I have absolutely no control over. Like messages complaining that the potatoes were cold at lunch, or that somebody else got to be a trustee that wasn't as qualified as the letter writer. Life just has its little ups and downs, doesn't it.
Judges are not alone in the receipt of mail. Lawyers, especially those appointed by the Court, are constantly getting messages from jail. I guess we should all just expect it. When an inmate is sitting in a cell with nothing better to do, then why not mess with the system that in so many of their minds is responsible for their unjustified incarceration?
Some of the stuff is of top quality literary value. A lawyer friend of mine received the following poem from one of his appointed clients:
"Dear Judiciously, Honorable Sir
I hope you do fully concur
For I anxiously await
The eventual date
That you spring me out of this stir."
"I know it won't be long
Their case can't be that strong
It'll fall right apart
When the proceedings do start
Of course, though, I could be wrong."
"I don't even know how they tagged it
My situation truly is tragic
But however they word it
We'll win with the verdict
When you work your lawyerly magic."
"About the first little zinger
The sorry little misdemeanor
I have received a report
They'll take it in J.P. Court
And my record will be no less the cleaner."
"About the one they just filed
It's a dirty lie, most vile
If my probation it'll affect
Then I suggest we elect
To fight it in examining trial."
"Now about that felony theft
The only one that's left
If probation they'll give
I can take it and live
And feel very good with myself."
"I am still awaiting your letter
I know I'm a miserable debtor
But your quick correspondence
Will relieve my despondence
And I'll feel a hell of a lot better."
"So I will be watching the mail
I know that you will not fail
Just give it a whack
And may God bless your back
And remember, I'M IN JAIL."
Another crafty inmate wrote to his lawyer: "All told, I've been confined fifteen flat months. Thank you for your forbearance through all of these ordeals. Stern captains have abandoned ships in calmer seas than we've seen."
And there is plenty of correspondence about legal fees. One inmate wrote: "By the way, I don't remember having signed a form for you to receive your just due for defending me in this case. Catch me before Friday morning or it might be a while. On the other hand, don't catch me. That will leave you some incentive for wanting to see me out that much sooner."
One of my favorite letters to a lawyer: "There has been a development. It seems that the old man in the incident is somewhat well known in downtown. From information that I have gathered from within the jail, he and his pets inhabit an abandoned church. He is supposed to be called Mr. King or Mr. Keen - I'll check to make sure. Whatever, he does appear to be locatable. Whether or not he can be persuaded to come clean is a different story. Of course, the best imaginable scenario is one in which the old man takes the stand, admits all, and sinks the State's case. Scenario II. The old man is subpoenaed, takes the stand, denies all but is goaded through your skillful, strategic questions to make a dramatic witness stand confession. An extremely dangerous roll of the dice, but then of course we have nerves of steel."
There are so many more that need review, but I have to go now. The mail just arrived!!!
Judge Gist has served on Jefferson County's Criminal District Court since 1974. He received his undergraduate degree at Notre Dame and his law degree at the University of Texas. He is an author and frequent speaker and teaches at South Texas College of Law and Lamar University.
TEXAS PARALEGAL JOURNAL
Winter 1996
©1996 Legal Assistants Division, State Bar of Texas